Time To Think With Portals
by ThePurityHeart-1
Summary: Dimentio abruptly gets sucked into GLaDOS' domain of testing Hell hint this is before Chell meets GLaDOS T for violence and crude humor. Please R&R!


Waking up to the taste of salt recollecting it as blood in his mouth he coughed softly. When he opened his bicolor eyes all he could see was a white blurry image of a ceiling above him. Everything inside him felt overly relaxed which was not his liking. When his vision slowly cleared up he blinked a few times and sat up a tad quickly to make his vision again unclear. Shaking out of it he gazed around to see nothing was the same as it used to be. He was in an odd looking bed which looked exactly like what scientists use to put human experiments in movies which soon become rotten. There was a toilet beside the bed and a table with a clipboard, mug and a radio emanating lively music which he was not enjoying in the slightest. Then he looked around to see that he was in a room surrounded by glass like he was the experiment. Unfortunately there were no scientists taking notes at his every move.

"…why..?" His voice sounded very hoarse like he hasn't had water in many years, "… Good Grambi!" He wheezed out after a hack. He took a small breather then relaxed slightly and whipped his sweaty face, "Why am I not in the Underwhere and in that cryptic orb?"

He looked at his hands and at his attire which was not his normal jester attire, "What the—? Wait… who am I…?"

Absentmindedly he gazed upward for an answer until he realized something that blew nostalgia into his face. A grin was smothered on his lips very slowly and evilly he chimed, "… I am the Master of Dimensions! Pleaser of Crowds! I AM DIMENTIO!"

With that he burst into crazed laughter which was soon stopped but a coughing attack. Once it calmed down he touched his throat lightly and shuddered, "I'd do anything for just a sip of water…"

Then he remembered the mug and glanced over at it longingly.

"There better be water in that mug…" When he tried to get up out of the bed he staggered and fell face first onto the unnaturally clean marble floor.

"My, this floor is clean!" He exclaimed surprised. Bringing himself back to the problem at hand he grunted and was going to try again. Carefully he sat up and massaged his numb legs to get the blood moving inside them. When that was taken care of he got up again, more cautiously this time, and walked over to the cup. He looked down inside to see that there was sadly no water in there. He pouted in a dishearten manner. Miserable he turned away and fell back to be caught by the glass

Then he spoke with a sigh, "I guess I have to survive on my own spit like a camel in the Sahara Desert who has to live with a stubborn owner that refusing to give the camel drink and forcing it to drink out of its own hump… very immature."

Hoping for any other options he gazed around the room a few times before setting eyes on the toilet which he immediately declined.

He satisfy his anger of have no water to quench his thirst he took the mug and threw it at the lamp above them which then the mug exploded on impact. Dimentio smiled slightly but still not happy about not getting what he desired which were two things now. Water and where he was and why… Ok three.

Suddenly a feminine, robotic voice boomed through the speakers which instantly made his head throb like a drum, "Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center."

"A-again…?"

The voice continued, "Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper. Before we start, however, keep in mind that, although fun and learning are the primary goals of all enrichment center activities, serious injuries may occur."

"Does one include dying of thirst?" Dimentio asked nonchalantly.

"Yes." The voice responded abruptly which made him jump that she actually answered.

"Now, for your own safety and the safety of others, please refrain from touching—…" there was a brief buzz of interruption then she started talking in spanish unnaturally rapidly, "Por favor _!_"

As this happened the swinging lamp above him flickered then stopped sustaining light in the room as the voice transitioned back to normal as if nothing happened, "I'm back. The portal will open in three, two, one."

There was a small shake and what would've been a good place for a door instead was a white plank which Dimentio took interest of when said portal appeared on it magically.

"… Hm," the jester mulled for a while as his computer mind translated her words into English, "'Please refrain from failing'." He shrugged, "I can do that."

He then looked into the portal with curious eyes. He could see himself in another angle and noticed something he hadn't from before.

"What am I wearing?" He examined himself closely to see that he was wearing an orange jumpsuit and odd long white boots.

He gave a shudder in disgust, "How revolting, I hate orange… and my hair's a mess… and my mask is gone, brilliant!" He stared a bit longer, "Grambi, I look like Nastasia on a bad day…"

He sighed and looked around once more then walked into the portal. When he did he realized another thing that he momentarily forgotten.

"… Wait, since I have no intention of being here, I have just go out like a candle blown out in a sudden gust of wind by an old sleepy man! I have magic for crying out loud!"

He closed his eyes confidently and snapped his fingers. He opened his eyes eagerly to see his room at Castle Bleck or to be inside that dreaded orb again though it would feel like home to him. Lovely home…

But in reality nothing happened. He frowned and pondered about this for a moment.

"Let me try to float then..." He said a bit hesitantly, afraid that his magic was burning out.

And so he tried but of course failed once more.

"… Ok so, I failed…"

"That was the one thing I told you not to do you moron but it does not count because you're not testing yet."

He jerked his head up to where the voice was coming from and glared, "What have you done with my magic?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. There is no such thing as magic when you're in science."

'_She has a point there… maybe that's why nothing happens with a snap of my fingers… science is blocking it… odd and unlogical but nothing is logical these days.'_

"Can't you tell me who you are and why I'm here? I want to go back and rot in Hell thank you! Much better than this…"

"Oh, I see, you want to be back sleeping in the likes of Hell. Well, guess what, this is the new type of Hell with lots, and lots… of tests. And why are you here? Because I need new test subjects, if you don't corroborate with me… You'll probably find out soon enough. And when your gone I replace you with another test subject. Not really that good looking and a bit pudgy which is similar to you really."

That got him.

"… Did… Did you just call me… fat?" He spat in dismay.

"Yes, yes I did."

"**How… dare… you…**" he snarled a bit demonically, "when my little magical friend visits me I will end your games faster than a out of control plane plummeting down to earth with rapid speeds that you cannot defy. I swear to God that you will soon be with me in the depths of HELL!"

There was silence for Dimentio's liking. He was breathing heavily from talking so fast and angrily which only made his desire for thirst more noticeable.

"My… I can see you won't last very long."

His eye twitched quickly then slowly stopped and once again he growled in an insanelike way, "You'll regret saying those words."

"Then how about a bargain? You do the test and I'll mock you less every time you solve them correctly. When you're done you can have your magic and go back to sleeping in Hell."

"Deal!" He huffed with his nostrils flaring as he ran to the door leading out of the room.

_**Hello~ I might continue this and I might not. It's fun to write and all but I just want to see what you guys think so I can see if It's worth continuing. Thank you for reading and please review!**_


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